Now it’s over – No, I mean it’s really over. So please, now just stop it! More thoughts on the demise of a once great festival.

Glastonbury closes for another year, not to return until 2013.

But I’d sooner it didn’t. 

Billy Bragg defended it on Facebook saying that what you see on the BBC was the sanitised face, albeit covered in mud – sanitised mud. There was still the Leftfield and loads of great stuff still going on in this amazing city of tents in mud. And that may be true.

But I watched the audience – those revellers - when Beyonce was on.

For God’s sake Beyonce was on! I don’t need to justify my position by describing the commoditised pop-crowd – of course they were there – because Beyonce was headlining the final night. Surely that is enough. And Glastonbury revellers may say – “Well actually you had to be there because you know what?  Beyonce was really good!” And I say “Yes, well you would say that, Glastonbury reveller, wouldn’t you? I would rather be a doggy treat in a pen full of Pit Bull Terriers than be ‘there’”.

Glastonbury revellers are reflected in the BBCs pappy, pointless presenters. To quote, quite aptly, from John Osborne’s “Look Back in Anger” (No, slightly older Glastonbury revellers – not, Oasis!) BBC presenters, “You are sycophantic, phlegmatic and pusillanimous, do you know what that means? It means, Soapy, Stodgy and Dim” – you can work out who is who. Fearne Cotton has to be ‘Dim’ though doesn’t she?       

Billy Bragg said that people now see it as their annual holiday – Glastonbury camping for few days. So it has become the new Butlins. And you do have to “Book Early”! Actually that was marketing campaign for Pontins (which was the Hop Farm Festival of the Holiday Camp universe – not quite as big and flashy as Butlins but still at least had some integrity!) I always thought Fred Pontin had the moral high ground over Billy Butlin, and the biggest thumb!     

The other festivals springing up are becoming less generic. Now we’ve got Feastival to look forward to this weekend.

 Chefs!

Why not festivals featuring people from other professions – Bankers, Architects, System Process Engineeers? How about Priestival? Marine Biologistival or even a Festival Promoterstival.

Now allow me to rock slightly in this chair of nostalgia. *Gentle rocking sound eases into a rhythm*  

In my day, when it was good - remember I talked about this before? When young people who were young people when we were young people, were young people, it was better. It was though, wasn’t it?  

I guess you could say it is good that nowadays when some people at Glastonbury try to inflate a big balloon that told Bonio from U2 to pay his tax,  gangs of security guards appear from the shadows to prevent this terrible dangerous act and in the process beat up a few of these terrorists.

You could say this was progress. Things have changed. We can’t have people terrorising Bonio and publicising the fact that he moves funds around to avoid paying tax in Ireland? This guy is a Saint with all the charity work he does - regularly getting other people to give their money to good causes. You could say all this – and you probably would if you were Glastonbury reveller.

This guy could give all his wealth away right now and still be richer than most of us within a few minutes - certainly within the hour. That would be useful! Other than that, the only use for Bonio is as a healthy treat for dogs; rich, as he is, in marrow bone if not in talent. He contains vitamins and minerals if not managing to contain his own ridiculous ego.

 If only we could find a pen full of Pit-Bull Terriers!

Glastonbury of old [*the chair still rocks*] didn’t hire bouncers like this, and if there had been any, there is no way they would have managed to prevent the inflation of the giant ‘Bonio Balloon’. Even if it had been only 10 or so people instigating this act there would have been enough others who would have, on principle prevented the security guards from their oppressive activities. That’s the difference! Once free expression reigned – now you’re free to revel but within very strict parameters – there’s probably a corporate policy on it somewhere in a filing cabinet in ‘Eavis the younger’s’ bedroom next to a report on a new ‘branding’ for Glastonbury.

But the bands and the BBC crew remained quiet about the brutal actions of the Glastonbury Stasi. Stooges - along with all the bands who said nothing.

The BBC crew thought U2 were spectacular.

Coldplay was a “Triumph” according to Mark Radcliffe. 

It’s depressing. Let’s talk no more of the BBC coverage – that’s just a part of the problem. The conveyor of the brand.

So it’s, “No, it wouldn’t be Glastonbury without the mud would it?” Those very words are probably written on a page which has the heading “Branding Ideas – turn a negative into a corporate ‘kerching’”. Also on another page entitled –“Ideas for achieving corporate goal of market re-focus – subtle realignment of the brand”. And on this page is written –“Bland BBC presenters together with ideal mind-dulling line up – U2, Coldplay, Beyonce.”

And then on another page “The future – 2013: 3 nights of Justin Bieber!”